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Thursday, July 26, 2012

Forbidden In The Garden Of Eden: Love vs. Fetish

What's bizarre to us may not be so strange, or odd, to the participants. Maybe it's just a sexual preference?

Can a sexual preference make, or break a relationship? and that simple question we ask ourselves all the time... 

Am I normal?

Yet, I am pretty sure a Fetishist asks themselves "is having a fetish normal"? ( ah, I hate using the word "normal").

After, watching others showcase their fetish desires on many Reality television, and sometimes in films. I've thought: 

Does this now mean we accept sexual fetishism? 
Are we still traditional when it comes to the thought of lovemaking??..... 

Because love is love, right?.. 

But, as I thought about it, having a relationships could be very tricky for these individuals. 

A relationship is already hard on a regular basis, but would a fetish make things more complicated??? 
such as, finding a mate, and not just a mate for convenience, but true love.
Would a fetish destroy a relationship, or would love conquer all...
So, I went into detective Nailah mode 
Mes Amours 
Put my Wikipedia hat on, library card on, and a little bit of the Google bug, and this is what I found..............
Define Fetish
"Sexual fetishism, or erotic fetishism, is the sexual arousal a person receives from a physical object, or from a specific situation. The object or situation of interest is called the fetish; the person who has a fetish for that object/situation is a fetishist" Wikipedia.

Sexuality vs Society 

"The attitude toward fetishism improved considerably as a sexual revolution swept across the West in the mid-twentieth century. These days fetishism is often classified as a kind of paraphilia. A paraphilia is a sexual psychic disorder involving sexual arousal and satisfaction through stimuli that are either unusual or questionable in terms of culture. By and large, scientists parted more and more with the idea of fetishism being an illness."

Fetishism is put in the category of Sexual disorders.. 
Although, I do see the connection, but that cannot be the case 'all the time'. 
Just because someone prefers BDSM, does not mean they have a sexual disorder.
So no! 
We cannot blame everything on "the mommy and daddy problems".. etc. Some may have had a normal upbringing.
Maybe, they were born this way, just as Lady Gaga would say....

I think anything that is cast as sexually deviant, is a sexual disorder. What is unusual, is scary to others. 
It always goes right back 'it's a disorder'.
Does society accept sexual fetishism, and if not, will we ever?
Let's not forget, that homosexuality was once categorized as paraphilia. It wasn't until the 1975 homosexuality was considered a normal sexual preference.

Although, I am very naive when it comes to this subject. 
I go by anything goes behind close doors when love is involved, and it's not abusive. 
Then it's really none of our business.
Sexual Preference, Fetishism, Partialism, or Paraphilia? Huh?
I quickly got overwhelmed looking over each definition. Somehow there all connected together by the same meaning. 

Sexual preference that's normal right? we all have a type that we like, what we are physical attracted to?........
But, what about Partialism? 
We all have committed this crime. 
Men/women obsessed over lips, breast, eyes, buttocks, and this list goes on ...But, this is defined as a "sexual interest"? 
Albeit, if it goes to far it can become a paraphilia? hmmm...Maybe we all have a fetish. Yet, if it's not in the category of what's normal, it's considered weird?

Am pretty sure everyone has meet someone that obsesses over hair color; and would only consider dating  brunettes, rather than blonds. And vice versa . 
And, yet just think this is consider normal?

I thought this was quite interesting. That somehow we are all connected to Fetishism through sexual preference. 
We all have committed this crime, we are all guilty... I guess we all have a fetish. 

Eventually, it goes right back to question what is normal right?
So who are we to judge what's weird?
  Loving Relationship? 
I've seen many episode such as "MTV: true life: I have a fetish" including others with an intense Paraphilia. Singles looking for love, & acceptance.
It goes right back to my question, can these individuals have a loving long lasting relationship? (as, you see I didn't say normal).

I've read forums, and noticed that some battle with their Paraphilia. 
And, I wondered would it be easy to date/marry someone who share the same sexual preference?
Although, sharing the same interest does not mean "love". Even though it could bring convenience, & acceptance. But, is it love?
Although, anything is possible when the heart is calling. 
Love Can Conquers All
I've always, and will forever feel that love comes in all shapes, and sizes, and this time sexual preference. 
Although, when a Paraphilia becomes dangerous that's when it's not love anymore, it's an obsession.

Albeit, Sexual Sexual Preference, Fetishism, Partialism, or Paraphilia whatever you want to call it, should never stop the meaning of the word love. Acceptance comes along with love. 
It may be a challenge. But, like I said above "love conquers all"..........
Amour Toujours 
Nailah D'arcy

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